What to ask a funeral celebrant

You do not need to prepare a life story before speaking to a celebrant. Begin with the person's name, the funeral date and venue if known, and the name of your funeral director. If arrangements are not confirmed, say so. Availability and the venue's ceremony time help establish what is possible.

I work with families across the North East and Merseyside. If you have a particular celebrant in mind, you can ask your funeral director to contact them or make your own initial enquiry.

Ask whether there will be a meeting, who can attend and how other relatives can contribute. A helpful conversation makes room for ordinary memories, not only dates and achievements. Favourite phrases, hobbies, friendships and small kindnesses often tell us more than a chronology.

At Eternal Words I meet with the family, listen to their memories and write the tribute from scratch. You can share photographs or notes if they help, but there is no requirement to arrive with polished words.

Ask when you will receive the draft and how you can request changes. Check names, pronunciation, relationships and any details that should remain private. Decide together who will collect the family's feedback so no important change is missed.

It is all right to leave something out. A funeral tribute does not have to tell every part of a life, and difficult relationships can be handled with honesty and discretion rather than forced praise.

Explain whether you want a non-religious ceremony, religious readings or a blend. Different celebrants and faith leaders work in different ways, so ask rather than assume. For a full faith-based service, speak with the relevant minister or faith leader about what is appropriate.

I can weave personal words together with hymns, prayers or readings where these honour your wishes. Music and the order of the ceremony also need to work with the venue and the time available.

Ask how family readings will be supported and whether the celebrant can take over if someone becomes overwhelmed. Give them a copy of the reading beforehand. No one should feel they must stand up to prove how much they loved the person.

Discuss the order of service, music cues and the available time with your celebrant and funeral director. A separate memorial or celebration of life can create more space for contributions when the funeral slot is limited.

Eternal Words funeral ceremonies start from £300, including a family meeting, liaison with the funeral director, story gathering, a bespoke tribute and ceremony, and delivery on the day. Ask for the final fee for your arrangements and whether it is paid directly or included in the funeral director's invoice.

If money is a worry, you are welcome to mention it privately. The Eternal Kindness Promise is a commitment to do what I reasonably can to help families facing genuine hardship, not a reason to feel you must explain everything in your first message.

You can write: 'We are arranging a funeral for [name] at [venue] on [date]. We would like a personal ceremony and help with the tribute. Are you available?' If any of those details are unknown, leave them out. We can start from where you are.